Six Steps To Making A Change – Step 4 Do’s, Don’ts and Desires

2014-11-19-dodontWhen you consider habits, whether it is one that you are adding or one that you are taking away there are always behaviors that are more important than others. These key behaviors influence others and if not taken seriously can ruin your whole effort. In this step, we will consider some of the behaviors that you don’t want to do, some that you do want to do and how to keep the desire and motivation strong so you can accomplish your goal.

Don’t
This is the easiest place to start. What are some of the things that you don’t want to do that if eliminated, will help you move forward? Think in terms of certain behaviors, triggers or thoughts that you need to avoid at all costs, especially early on in the program. For example, if your habit goal is to stop eating sugar, there are some other things you may need to stop in order to be successful. Ask yourself, “What things do I want to stop?” For example, “Stop going to the donut shop for coffee.” “Stop grocery shopping without a specific list of what you are buying.” “Stop going on coffee break without a healthy alternative.” For each habit, you are trying to eliminate or acquire, fill out the following.

What is the habit goal ? _________________________________________________________

What behaviors do you need to eliminate in order to succeed?

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

What triggers (Places, people or things that would cause you to begin the behavior that you are trying to eliminate or cause you to veer from the habit you are starting.) do you need to negate from your life?
__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

What thoughts would cause you to sway from your habit challenge?
__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

Do
List some of the things you need to do to succeed at your goal.

If your goal is to run 30 minutes a day–it is easy to write down “run 30 minutes a day.” That is obvious. However, we are looking for those other things that will make it possible. For instance;
• Set my alarm on the phone for 6:00 a.m.
• Go to bed at 10:00.
• Get a good pair of shoes.
• Plan a great route. Etc.

If your goal is to begin eating low carb meals—then it might mean substituting what you normally eat with something else.

List those things that you want to start doing.

What behaviors

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

What meetings, social groups, activities should you start to attend

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

Desire
Desire is what makes it all happen. What are the desires you are really seeking after? What emotional payback would there be from accomplishing you goal? What pleasure, confidence, emotions would accompany the reaching of your goals? What physical rewards might there be? Is there a monetary potential that would be the result of making your goal? Are there any Spiritual benefits that would be the result of you achieving your goal?

Five elements that work together to make the desire to come true
1. You know in your heart you need a change
2. Others have confirmed that you need a change and are pressuring you
3. Circumstances have shown you that it is better to change than to stay doing what you are doing
4. Your desire for change is strong and motivated from inside you, not outside
5. There is a new plan, program, tool, something that is novel that speaks to you and says, “This is it! This could work!”

Desires are usually associated with some kind of reward. We are wired for reward so it makes sense to use the anticipated reward as an incentive when your discipline is weaning or you become discouraged. Rewards vary. They can be of an emotional, physical, monetary and/or spiritual nature. Take a few moments and think of the rewards that you will benefit from when you accomplish your habit challenge.

Emotional reward

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

Physical reward

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

Monetary rewards

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

Spiritual benefits

__________________________ _______________________ _______________________

With this in mind, spend a moment visualizing yourself succeeding and reaping the various rewards. Let it sink into your heart and bring you real joy. Keep this list in front of you. Perhaps there is a picture, drawing, a song or something symbolic that will be reminded of your desire and hopefully reignite it. If so keep it somewhere that you can encounter it often.

With this deep desire in your heart recommit yourself to accomplishing your habit goals.

 

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